DarrenClarke.com Wanders Offline to Celebrate Open Triumph

NORTHERN IRISHMAN DARREN CLARKE IS a self-described regular guy who likes to puff on a cigarette and have a drink or two or three. Now he’s the highly improbable and popular Open champion whose head hasn’t hit the pillow since Saturday night.

“I have not been to bed yet,” Clark said at a Monday morning press conference at Royal St. George’s. “I probably won’t get any sleep until tomorrow at some stage. You have to enjoy it while you can. It’s been a very good night.”

And, like its namesake, DarrenClarke.com is a regular sort of website that enjoys its time away from the 24/7 pressures of the Internet. The site was in a celebratory mood after the final putt dropped and employer-hero Darren Clarke hoisted the cherished Claret Jug.

“Website will be back online soon,” announced DarrenClarke.com shortly after publishing the above photo of Clarke kissing the silver trophy. “Just doing some maintenance.”

Maintenance? Ha!

Sources have told ARMCHAIR GOLF that DarrenClarke.com was seen carrying on in the wee hours of Monday morning with RoryMcIlroy.com and GraemeMcDowell.com. RoryMcIlroy.com was described as the lightweight of the group. After a few drinks it slurs its links.

As far as the statement about being back online soon, don’t bet a Guinness on it. DarrenClarke.com might just party on for a month or longer.

It really wouldn’t matter much when you think about it. That homepage photo of Clarke kissing the Claret Jug pretty much says it all, don’t you agree?

−The Armchair Golfer

(This is an ARMCHAIR GOLF spoof.)

(Photo: Courtesy of DarrenClarke.com)

Darren Clarke Thrives Thanks to Doctor’s Remedy

Editor’s note: Brian Keogh is a golf correspondent for The Irish Sun and a contributor to The Irish Times, Golf Digest Ireland and other golf publications. The following piece from Brian’s Irish Golf Desk is used with permission.

By Brian Keogh
Special to ARMCHAIR GOLF

DARREN CLARKE JUMPED TO ATTENTION under doctor’s orders to putt his way into contention for major glory at the 140th Open Championship at Royal St. George’s. The Ulster veteran, 42, cracked five birdies for a super 68 to finish just three shots behind first-round leaders Tom Lewis and Thomas Bjorn and immediately thanked mental guru Dr Bob Rotella. Now Clarke’s second-round 68 has given him the clubhouse lead at 4 under par as play continues on Friday.

After using the blade just 28 times on Thursday, Clarke beamed: “I’ve been lucky this week and seen an old friend of mine in Bob Rotella. I haven’t seen him for quite some time and was able to catch up with him because my ball striking and tee-to-green stuff has been very good, very solid, but the putter has been poor.”

Asked what the Doc had ordered, Clarke said: “He charges me a lot of money, so I can’t tell you that. But he knows me inside out. We’ve worked together for a very long time.”

Clarke said before the start that he needed his putter to fire on all cylinders to win the Open at his 21st attempt. While he’s won three times since 2008 with his latest victory coming in Mallorca this season, his cold putter has prevented him from re-establishing himself in the world’s top 100.

Ranked 111th starting the week, he has been overshadowed in the ISM stable by major winners Louis Oosthuizen, Charl Schwartzel and Rory McIlroy, as well as world No 2 Lee Westwood.

But Clarke showed he’s still a force to be reckoned with on links terrain as he survived some blustery early conditions and then took advantage of a drop in the wind late on Thursday afternoon.

Believing he’s got enough in the tank to keep it up, Clarke said: “I’m not that old yet, am I? I’m only 42. I still behave as if I’m 14.

“But no, I’m enjoying it. The golf course is great, fantastic. It’s the biggest and best tournament in the world. Why wouldn’t I enjoy it?”

Brian Keogh covers golf for The Irish Sun and contributes to a variety of golf publications. Pay him a visit at Irish Golf Desk.

(Photo: Courtesy of zrim, Flickr, Creative Commons license)