Oakmont Is Cage Fighting in Fashionable Clothing

THE USGA’S COURSE SETUP MAN Mike Davis is “giddy” about course conditions at Oakmont Country Club heading into this week’s U.S. Women’s Open near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Giddy, I tell you.

“I am truly giddy the whole week that I’m here. It’s just so good,” Davis said at USGA.org. “In fact, it’s perfect [and] it’s been that way the last five days we’ve been here.”

This might not be good news for the women who must actually play Oakmont for 72 holes over four days. When the USGA man declares that Oakmont is a firm and fast test for the world’s best female golfers, you just know there’s going to be trouble—and lots of it. Some are predicting scores in the 90s and a cut at 12-over par.

Here’s what I know about Oakmont after watching the boys play it since the late 20th century: It will seriously mess you up. It will blacken your eye and bloody your nose. It will spit in your face and kick you in the groin. It will beat you up, take your lunch money and steal your identity. Oakmont is cage fighting in fashionable clothing.

If you have a bag and 14 sticks, Oakmont doesn’t like you. If you come near it, it will try to destroy you. Oakmont is Lee Van Cleef in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly and Clint Eastwood in The Outlaw Josey Wales. Oakmont is Alien, The Terminator and Predator.

Oakmont does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, disability, sex, marital status, familial status, parental status, religion, sexual orientation, genetic information, or political beliefs. Man, woman, child—Oakmont doesn’t care. It whips all comers.

If you complain, whine, or cry about it, Oakmont gets stronger. If you talk to yourself, toss your club in disgust, or berate your caddie, Oakmont gets stronger. When—not if—when you make bogeys, double bogeys and “others,” Oakmont gets stronger.

Oakmont is permanently in a surly mood, and has been dating back to 1973 (if not longer). That’s when golden boy Johnny Miller slipped by Oakmont without so much as a tear in his plaid slacks or a scuff on his red, white and blue patent leather golf shoes. Johnny walked away with a 63 and the U.S. Open trophy, and he’s been reminding people about it for the last 37 years. Oakmont has been taking it out on golfers just as long.

Godspeed, ladies.

−The Armchair Golfer

(Image: StonehouseGolf/Flickr)

The Odd and Fragile Life of the Tour Caddie

Editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from Whiffling Straits, a golf blog authored by Mike Zimmerman.

By Mike Zimmerman
Special to ARMCHAIR GOLF

DURING THE FATHER’S DAY blowout at the House of Whiffle that kept me from fully engaging in the final round of the 2010 U.S. Open, I had an interesting discussion with my sister-in-law. Though she’s not a golfer, she was curious about the events unfolding on the TV in the kitchen (where I was in charge of the food preparation). In particular, she was asking about the role of the caddie.

“Do the players have their own regular caddies, or do they have different ones every week?”

Most full-time tour pros have their own caddies who travel with them, I explained. Though they sometimes change from time to time.

“Do they tell them which club to use?”

Not exactly, but they do usually provide input. And certainly the yardages. A lot of it depends on the player, and how much he expects from the caddie, and what kind of a relationship the two of them have.

“Is the caddie like a coach?”

Well, a little bit, sometimes. They won’t typically give the player advice on their swing, but they often help them read the green and make strategy decisions. More than anything—again, depending on the player—they’re like an on-course sports psychologist. At least the good ones are.

Blame and Shame at Pebble Beach

After the tournament, a couple of caddies got some extra attention in the press: Steve Williams, because of how Tiger Woods seemed to blame him, at least in part, for a couple of poor decisions made during Sunday’s disappointing final round; and Bobby Brown, Dustin Johnson’s caddie. Brown’s role was notable because he had previously spent three years as a full-time caddie at Pebble Beach—and because Johnson had won the two previous AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am titles. Certainly, it seemed their combined experience at the famous course would help Johnson carry the day on Sunday.

But, as we all now know, it was not to be. Johnson, who began the day with a three-shot lead, shot a disastrous 82 to finish in a tie for 8th.

Williams was typically mum. But Brown later spoke to the Monterey Herald about his player’s ill-fated left-handed chip on the second hole:

“I was a little bit shocked to see him go at that thing left-handed, because the first thing I thought he was going to do was take an unplayable, or chip it back into the bunker,” Brown said. “It all happened so fast. I was about ready to say something, and he kind of told me to get out of the way and said, ‘I got this.’ At that point, you kind of get out of the way. Maybe next time I won’t get out of the way. I’m not sure.”

How hard should a caddie push when he thinks his golfer is making a bad decision?

Bones Lets Phil Be Phil

If Jim “Bones” Mackay had gotten his way at Augusta earlier this year, Phil Mickelson would have laid up on that now-famous 6-iron from between the trees on 13. But Bones has been with Phil ever since he turned pro in 1992, and he knows by now just how hard to push—and when to step back and say, “OK, you’re the boss. Now give it a good rip!”

Edwards Curses Watson

In the Golf Channel documentary “Caddy for Life” (based on the book by John Feinstein), Tom Watson tells of a time when his long-time caddie Bruce Edwards cursed him out in the middle of the round.

It seems a discouraged Watson was dithering about whether to go for it or lay up on a par 5. Edwards felt strongly that Watson should do the former—and that his golfer needed a good kick in the pants, as well! So Edwards read him the riot act (including a few expletives), threw Watson’s 7-iron and 3-wood at his feet, and then stormed down the fairway with the bag, leaving Watson to make up his own dang mind.

Again, it takes a special relationship for something like this to transpire—without a subsequent termination.

The Caddie’s Dilemma

Maybe Brown should not have been so quick to “get out of the way” on the second hole. But it’s impossible to say. If he had talked Johnson into trying something different and it hadn’t worked out, it might have rattled Johnson just as much. It’s kind of a no-win situation: Caddies are often quick to get the blame but rarely get proper credit when they contribute to a win.

Swing coach? No. Sports psychologist? Absolutely. Scapegoat? Sometimes. No doubt about it, a successful tour caddie is a special breed.

Mike Zimmerman is a writer who lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Visit his golf blog, Whiffling Straits.

(Image: nsaplayer/Flickr)

17 Long Years Between Wins for Larry Mize

2010 Montreal Championship Recap
Winner: Larry Mize
Score: 17 under, 199 (67, 68, 64)
Quote: “I’ll take a win anywhere.”
Fact: His middle name is “Hogan.”
Thought: Next win in 2027?

THE LAST TIME LARRY MIZE won on a professional tour he was 34, the same age as Tiger Woods. Mize shot 16 under at the 1993 Buick Open to beat Fuzzy Zoeller by a stroke. It was his second win of the season and his fourth PGA Tour title. One could reasonably expect more wins from Mize, a pretty good if not spectacular player who I remember as a putting and short-game specialist. But more victories didn’t materialize.

So when the 51-year-old Mize watched John Cook miss his 25-foot birdie putt yesterday on the final hole of the Montreal Championship, he was moved to tears. Seventeen years is a long time between wins. Between anything, really.

“Once it happened, it was hard to keep that emotion back,” Mize said. “You know, it’s hard to believe.”

I guess it would be.

Mize got the job done in the final round by firing an 8-under 64 that included seven birdies and an eagle to edge runner-up Cook by a shot.

The attendance at the inaugural Champions Tour event in Quebec was impressive, a total of 54,000 spectators with 22,000 on hand for the final round. Fred Couples, who finished in a five-way tie for fifth, was a definite fan favorite. U.S. Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin continued his good play, finishing in a tie for third with Dan Forsman.

−The Armchair Golfer